The third stop in the workplace: I finally don't want to "prove myself" anymore
I've been doing system management in my current company for two years, which is my third stop in my career. From building the document framework of ISO9001 to calibrating the compliance of the production process, from finding out the recording loopholes in the quality control department through monthly internal audits to helping the company successfully pass the EU CE certification last year, I'm very familiar with almost all aspects. Old hands across departments, like Manager Zhang from the production department, used to say, "The system is just a bunch of papers." Now, when he sees me, he'll offer me a cigarette voluntarily and say, "The set of equipment maintenance records you helped me complete last time just silenced the auditor." Even fresh graduates who just graduated are willing to work overtime with me. It's not because I'm strict, but because I can translate the "boring system clauses" into "how to avoid rework".
Only my relationship with my direct supervisor is like a string that can never be straightened. It's not that I'm afraid of him; it's that he always seems to be on guard against me. For example, there's the quarterly system assessment by the shareholder unit - this matter is directly linked to 20% of the entire department's quarterly bonus. The company decided in the monthly meeting long ago that "I should take the lead in overall planning". But last week before the assessment, when I went to the R & D department to look for materials, I saw Xiao Wang leading the people from production and quality control in practicing mock Q&A. He said, "If the auditor asks about 'the approval process for design changes', you should say 'first go through the technical department, then report to the system post for confirmation' - No, Sister Li said last time that 'customer demand verification' should be added!" I stepped forward and asked, "Are you practicing for the assessment? Why wasn't I informed?" Xiao Wang was taken aback and showed me the supervisor's WeChat message: "Yesterday, the supervisor said 'I'm in charge of the rehearsal group. Don't trouble Sister Li'." I took a look at their "list of key points for the assessment" - it was exactly the same as the "Summary of Key Points for the Quarterly Assessment" that I sent to the supervisor last week, not even a punctuation mark was changed.
What's even more ironic is that on the day of the official assessment, the auditor pointed at a certain "Process Change Record" and asked, "Where is the verification report for this change? Why isn't there a signature from the production department?" The leader rushed out of the meeting room in a hurry, grabbed me and pulled me inside, saying, "Didn't you say before how to handle this situation? Come up with a solution quickly!" As I walked, I took out the "Guide for Correcting Change Verification" from my bag - I sent it to him last week, and he said at that time, "Put it aside first. I'll read it when I'm free." The auditor took the guide and flipped through a couple of pages, then looked up and asked, "Did you prepare this in advance?" Just as I was about to speak, the leader quickly replied, "Yes, we've had a contingency plan in place!" Standing beside him, I watched him clutching my guide in his hand and suddenly remembered the scene during the communication last week: "Leader, we can integrate the rehearsals - I have a complete set of mock test questions, which is more effective than piecemeal practice." He patted me on the shoulder and laughed it off, saying, "More hands make the work more stable. Don't wear yourself out."
I'm not saying I haven't tried to solve the problem. For example, I made a list of the 12 loopholes in the rehearsal and gave it to him, but he stuffed it in the drawer without even looking at it. Another example is when I reported the "progress of assessment preparation", he always said, "Got it, go and get busy." I even compiled the "Common Problem Database for System Assessment" and sent it to him, but he didn't even reply. It wasn't until last week when I worked overtime until ten o'clock. Looking at the unfinished "Next Quarter System Optimization Plan" on my computer, I suddenly felt exhausted. I've been going all out to do things well, but he always comes up with "backup plans" behind my back, as if he's afraid I'll mess things up.
Some people say, "Don't punish yourself for others' mistakes." But I've figured it out: The workplace isn't a prison, and there's no need to be trapped in the cycle of "proving myself." What I want isn't "having to stay," but "doing things with trust" — it's when I present a plan and the leader says, "Do it as you suggested"; it's when a problem arises and his first reaction is "find me," rather than "find someone else to replace me."
Yesterday I updated my resume, and two companies in the HR group have already inquired. This morning, when passing by the coffee shop, I bought a cup of hot Americano instead of rushing for the subway as usual. The air was filled with the fragrance of osmanthus, and I suddenly felt relaxed. It's not about "All talents must find their uses one day", but that I know how much my skills are worth and where I can let them shine.
Anyway, I don't want to play the "riddle - guessing game" with the leader anymore.